Cheap, No. Preiswert, Yes.

I found the Chelsea Market. SO. I now understand why the Food Network HQ is there. Able to give a little, ultimately fleeting ‘bish plz’ to the entry shops (Eleni’s cookies, Fat Witch brownies, Amy’s bakery), I quickly found Buon Italia, an awesome Italian supermarket with imports and housemade foodstuffs. I also got some wine and fish and the result was one of those meals that started out simple in theory, quickly spiraled out of control in shopping (in part because some dude was kind of tendentiously following me around in the store and I initially thought he was pretty cute and picked up everything I wanted to kind of impress him and then to kind of get out of his line of desire because what was kind of nice became super creepy when he never said anything to me), and came together sooo nicely in execution, please enjoy the haphazard italics use; you'll need:

Pappardelle (I used some sort of sprouted-grain Trader Joe’s shenanigan, but as with most meals, I’d hazard a guess that the finer the flour, the yolkier the dough, the fresher the pasta, the better)

Broccolini (1 bunch)
Plum tomatoes (or something smallish and intense but not too sweet - 2)
Parsley (I used flat leaf and I’d say it doesn’t matter but curly leaf seems grassier, herbier, better)
Garlic (2-3 cloves)
Olive mix (or an already chopped-up olive tapenade if you have no control issues)
Cipollini onions
Capers (packed in salt y’all)
Lemons (2-3 small)
Salt, pepper (pickiness to your taste)
Olive oil (again, pickiness to your taste, but get something fairly tasty)

1 whole branzini (a smallish branzino, mediterranean sea bass – use another firm-fleshed, mild, not-too-rich fish, like, not chilean sea bass, if you wish, but I’m sort of having a love affair with branzino and I think you should too…. um, ethically, anyway)

Alright. SO. Make the sauce you’ll be coating the pasta with and whatever else(drinking). It’s that good. Here’s the recipe, from a Sicilian cookbook Mom has:

½ cup olive oil
¼ cup fresh lemon juice
1 [large] clove garlic, minced
1/8 cup chopped parsley
½ tsp. salt, 1/8 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
Get out the food processor/blender/friend with a whisk and a fast hand. Combine all ingredients except oil and blend well. Slowly blend in (read: drizzle) olive oil until emulsified. Store in refrigerator.

Make. Your. Relish!

Dice (fairly finely) the tomatoes, and match the resulting amount with your olives and cipollini onions. Pick out a few nice-looking capers – the salt will be of use here, so don’t wash it off – and chop those pretty finely. If you have some salt-packed anchovies, and I wish I had, rinse a couple off, mince those, and add them to the mix. Stir and for god’s sake don’t salt. Pepper if you wish. Also, some toasted pine nuts are a nice addition to this, but for real, I put them in everything, so maybe don’t take my word for that.

Prepare the broccolini how you like it – bite-sized for me, thanks – and quickly, lightly move it around in a sautée pan with some thinly sliced, but not minced, garlic until it is acceptably cooked. I prefer it more or less crunchy yet warm. Remove it from the pan.

Prepare your branzino/i – grilling would have been my first choice, but as I lack the essential equipment, I am stuck with broiling – by fileting things if you want them that way, or not, whatever, but don’t get all picky and debone and definitely leave the skin on. You know how to do it, it’s a fresh fish. If you don’t know, you bought something frozen, correct? Fine. Lightly olive oil, salt, and pepper both sides, and do that thing.

Toss the broccolini with the pappardelle and a little of the lemon sauce. Slide the filet on top, smear it with a little more sauce, and top with about two tablespoons of the relish. I drank half a bottle of Domaine Lafond Roc-Epine Lirac Blanc 2006, which is mineral-crisp, a little flowery, a little citrusy, and about $11.99. Then had a little apricot rugelach and - ! – a chocolate macaroon from Eleni’s to congratulate myself on the healthfulness of the previous dish. Yes please!